You know how people say "To love someone else, you must first love yourself"? Well, it turns out they are right! If you're looking for a catch, you've got to be a catch. You have to believe it. There's a glow, a certain aura, that people give off when they are in love or loving what they are doing, and people can't help but find it irresistibly attractive. Fall in love with yourself, and you may be surprised to find great things and great people start to gravitate towards you. It's time stop searching out there for your perfect match, and put all that energy back towards yourself. Foster that self-love and self-worth that we so often downplay, ignore or deny. Too often, people settle for what they think they deserve. Do yourself a favor: raise your self-esteem, your standards and your expectations. Today. For a change, try treating yourself the way you would expect your ideal partner to treat you. In other words, date yourself! Compliment yourself, treat yourself, wine and dine yourself, impress yourself. Go out of your way to make you smile. We have an endless supply of love, so toss some of it to the one person that will always be there: you.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


Make yourself care packages in advance (for when you get sick and have no one around to look after you)

When sickness befalls you, it sure is nice to have someone to take care of you. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have people in our lives who love us enough to come near us during these miserable, contagious and helpless states. Other times, we are left to our own devices to wallow in self pity (and sweat and tears and mucus and puke) until our immune systems set us on a healthy path again.

Well, I got to thinking, why not make a care package for your future self with all of the comfort items you would like to have when you are sick?

It might include:
- chicken noodle soup cans or packets
- medication of your choice
- vitamin C, tea tree oil, Vick's vapour rub
- a giant soft blanket
- tea
- bath salts
- scrunchies
- Kleenex
- your favorite cereal or crackers (or other comfort snack)
- cozy socks or slippers
- a microwavable bean bag
- a good sick movie (Princess Bride or Ferris Bueller would be my picks)
- a throw in a couple cheesy romance novels
- anything else that might cheer you up - a photograph or a teddy bear

Put it all in a box or a bag and away in a closet somewhere, and you will sure be happy to see it waiting there that day when you can't will yourself out of bed, let alone outside your house.

( This would also make a great gift for somebody. Or better yet, make a few and have them ready to deliver to a sick friend at any given time. )

Monday, November 12, 2012


Be okay with not being okay

I believe that people are getting further and further out of touch with their emotions. We are taught at a young age to ignore our feelings, to push them aside, or to hide them. Young men are asked to toughen up and suck it up. Women are accused of being over emotional and irrational. 

You are human.
Sometimes you're going to feel lonely. 
Hard done by.
You name it.

I challenge you to allow yourself to feel how and what you are feeling. Give yourself permission to be okay with not being okay for a while. Work through some of those emotions rather than sweeping them away. Maybe writing will help, talking to a friend, meditating or maybe you need a good ol' ugly cry fest.

Maybe if we stop denying our feelings and face them, we will rely less on unhealthy distractions and vices we may use.

It's okay. Trust me.


Figure out exactly what it is that is good for your soul

A couple of months ago I found myself waking up on a houseboat in one of the most beautiful places in the world, Shuswap, British Columbia. I would read, make some deliciously healthy and simple food, listen to country and classic rock, have naps, soak in the hot tub, sit by the campfire, gaze at the stars. 

Afterwards, I was talking to a friend and I mentioned how great my vacation was, that I felt refreshed and it must have been good for my soul. He wasn't an outdoorsy kind of person so I asked him, well what would be good for your soul then?

He told me: That is a really good fucking question. I hadn't really thought about it. I'll have to get back to you on that one.

About a week later, I got a text from him. He said "To answer your question. Slowing down. And finding somebody to share my life with.

So ask yourself.. What would be good for my soul? It is a really good fucking question.

Thursday, November 1, 2012


Believe the compliments you receive

It is human nature to dwell on criticism and forget or question the praise that we receive. Try to pay attention to the nice things people are saying about you or have said about you in the past. If possible WRITE THEM DOWN. Because sometimes, when you find yourself losing faith in yourself, the best way to boost your confidence is to recall how highly you are regarded by someone else. Strive to hold yourself in the highest regard. See yourself as your admirers see you. 

I recently came across some notes about nice things people had said to me or about me. It sure made me feel good and I only wished I had written down more. Here are some of the things I had written down:

* I see someone that's so considerate and full of joy
* You are pretty, and you can be as confident as you want
* You are one of the few people I know that deserves someone amazing
* Tori, I like your voice (from a 3 year old that I used to baby-sit - how adorable is that?!)

[ There is a lovely little book called Look Who Believes in You by Tanya Harmon that would make a great gift to yourself or a friend. ]

Wednesday, January 18, 2012



A form of therapy called 3in1 Concepts describes dehydration as a form of self-punishment. If you aren't drinking enough water, you are denying yourself of one of the most basic human needs and doing yourself a huge disservice. Drinking more water has countless health benefits, which only contribute to feeling better about yourself and having a clearer mind.

Monday, December 19, 2011



Shed, from your life, the things that do not nurture you. Shed the people who do not treat you with respect, or who make you feel insignificant. Shed the music that rubs you the wrong way, the food that makes you feel like crap, the thoughts that cloud your mind. Do not worry about filling this newly found space with other things. Just make room for the possibility of positive replacements.

Friday, December 2, 2011



Definition: verb, meaning to ooze forth or to exhibit in abundance

 You are more than just your physical body; you are also the light and the energy that carries you and animates you. The more we can exude that inner feeling, the more it will transcend to the outer world. People will look at you differently. 

So do your best to EXUDE. Exude confidence. Exude sexuality. Exude happiness and contentment. Channel your inner Marilyn Monroe. It starts from the inside and begins to shine out.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


Do something that scares you

Whether it's bungee jumping or giving someone your number or quitting your job. Just do it. You'll never feel more alive. And every time you face a fear, you grow as a person.

And in fact, it's not necessarily about doing something "scary". Try doing something different than what you've been doing or what you're used to. It's a great starting point. And let's be honest, change itself is scary enough.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." 
- Jean-Paul Sartre

"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got."
-Sheryl Crow

"Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world."
- Wayne Dyer

"I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls."
- Audrey Hepburn