POWER OF VULNERABILITY

#29 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Shed

Shed, from your life, the things that do not nurture you. Shed the people who do not treat you with respect, or who make you feel insignificant. Shed the music that rubs you the wrong way, the food that makes you feel like crap, the thoughts that cloud your mind. Do not worry about filling this newly found space with other things. Just make room for the possibility of positive replacements.

#28 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Exude

Definition: verb, meaning to ooze forth or to exhibit in abundance

 You are more than just your physical body; you are also the light and the energy that carries you and animates you. The more we can exude that inner feeling, the more it will transcend to the outer world. People will look at you differently. 

So do your best to EXUDE. Exude confidence. Exude sexuality. Exude happiness and contentment. Channel your inner Marilyn Monroe. It starts from the inside and begins to shine out.

LOVE MONKEY !

#27 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Do something that scares you

Whether it's bungee jumping or giving someone your number or quitting your job. Just do it. You'll never feel more alive. And every time you face a fear, you grow as a person.


And in fact, it's not necessarily about doing something "scary". Try doing something different than what you've been doing or what you're used to. It's a great starting point. And let's be honest, change itself is scary enough.

I LOVE THESE QUOTES (BUT I LOVE ME MORE!)

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." 

- Jean-Paul Sartre

"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got."

-Sheryl Crow

"Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world."

- Wayne Dyer

"I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls."

- Audrey Hepburn

FEAR & LOVE

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."

- John Lennon

#26 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Laugh

Every day.

With others.

Wholeheartedly.

AT YOURSELF.

When something is really, really funny.

It is my personal opinion that laughter is the healthiest activity on the planet. It is infectious and genuine laughter is attractive on anyone.

#25 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Have an attitude of gratitude

It's easy to get caught up in the wanting game. When you start feeling deprived or sorry for yourself, make a very conscious note of what you are grateful for. You have a lot going for you.

At least one person in this world loves me unconditionally.

A lot of people care about me.

I have a closet full of clothes.

I live in a beautiful and free country.

I eat three meals a day.

I am smart and talented and good looking.

I am HEALTHY.

I am among the most privileged people in the world.

I am so lucky to be alive and be me.

SUNSCREEN SPEECH

#24 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Make vows


I am currently working on a list of 100 vows to myself.


#1. I promise to love myself unconditionally for as long as I shall live.
#18. I promise to take care of my body in the interest of living a long and comfortable life.
#33. I promise to create adventures throughout my lifetime.
#47. I promise to never stop believing in love.


* As a fun little exercise, try wearing a ring on your ring finger for a day or a week, reminding you to honor the vows you've made.

MERMAIDS AREN'T REAL

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.

They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.

They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?

They would have no sex life and could not bear children.

Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.

And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)

I LOVE THESE QUOTES (BUT I LOVE ME MORE!)

"Love yourself - accept yourself - forgive yourself - be good to yourself. Because without you, the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things."

- Leonardo Buscaglia

"Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a favor without doing people a favor, and vise versa."

- Karl Menninger

"Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting."

- William Shakespeare

"Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror."

- Byron Katie

#23 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Get naked and get used to it!

Body image issues are big big issues. It's time to get naked and tackle them (sorry for that image). I want you to learn to be comfortable in your skin. It is the key to intimacy.

Tips:

• A friend of mine took a dance class where they practiced "zoning". Mentally divide your body up into zones, put on some trancy hippy music, and then just feel your body one zone at a time. Great way to get in touch with your physical form.
• Take a hint from the models and the strippers - LIGHTING can make a huge difference in how you look naked. I highly recommend getting a red light for your bedroom lamp. Trust me on this ladies, red light is much more forgiving. It's a good start for getting more comfortable spending time and seeing yourself in the nude.
• Watch this incredible show How to Look Good Naked.

#22 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Have days when you don't love yourself

I'm having one right now. It's natural. But it's not hopeless. Let yourself know that though it's hard to find yourself lovable at times, you will fall in love again. Hopefully tomorrow.

^

utterly unlovable &&

a face only a mother could love

tee hee

#21 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Love yourself FOR a flaw

*[This was by far the most difficult thing for me to come to terms with personally.]

 We all have flaws and we all dwell on them from time to time. You have been working on loving yourself despite your flaws. Now entertain the idea of loving yourself FOR those very flaws.

I love me for my butt. It's proportionally large and it jiggles and, dimples and all, I still love my body.

I love me for the way I write directions down on my arm and then can never find where I'm trying to go.

*Note: This does not mean that you should stop trying to improve or better yourself. It is just to say that you will never be perfect and it is some of your imperfections that make you who you are - and you are incredible.

#20 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Stop saying "... and then I'll be happy."

You need to learn to be happy in the current circumstances of which you live. We are all guilty of this.

I need to lose 10 lbs and then I'll be happy.

When I finish this project/deadline, then I'll be happy.

Once I get married, I'll be happy.

After I catch up on bills I'll be happy.
When I buy that car, then I'll be happy.

Try to take these phrases out of your vocabulary. There's always gonna be something. The goal is not to find someone or something to make us happy. The goal is to be as happy as possible as often as possible, period. Regardless or current relationship status, weight, finances, job, stressors, ETC.

#19 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Tell someone about your crush

In conversation, tell someone (who doesn't know you too well) about your new crush, without revealing that it's you. Tell  them how sweet and thoughtful this "guy" is. And how good looking and smart. It's a fun little exercise to hear yourself talk aloud about how great you are.

NEVER SETTLE

I LOVE THESE QUOTES! (BUT I LOVE ME MORE)

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
- Oscar Wilde

“Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.”
- Michel de Montaigne

“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
- Rumi

“The love you seek is seeking you at this moment.”
- Deepak Chopra

#18 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Embrace loneliness

THIS IS YOUR LIFE

#17 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Beware comfort food

It is not uncommon to over-eat (or under-eat) when feeling lonely, bored and/or depressed. For some people (myself included), food is used as a comfort, because you are happy, if only for the moment, when you are eating. We are often trying to fill an emptiness that we feel within. Temporary "fullness" quickly turns into feeling poorly about ourselves, and more empty than before. Become aware of these habits. As much as possible, try to fill your spirit with things other than food - things that make you feel whole and complete in the long term. Of course, there is nothing wrong with treating yourself to a little soul food now and then. If you are going to splurge, make sure you indulge with guilt-free enthusiasm.

#16 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Dear Diary

Write a diary entry about yourself as though you were writing about your crush in junior high.

Dear diary,

Tori is sooo dreamy. She's really good looking, I love her blue eyes and how they fade to green in the middle. And she is so nice to everyone she meets, and I love the way she sticks up for people and doesn't stand for bullying. She's smart too, it seems like she's effortlessly brilliant, but I know she works really hard at what she does. And she's super funny and witty. I love the sound of her laugh. She gives me butterflies and I just feel so lucky to be her friend. I would be the luckiest person in the world if she liked me back.

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS

#15 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Be gentle with yourself

Having high standards is important, but don't hold yourself to the standard of perfection. Don't be so hard on yourself. In a partnership, it is important to show patience, acceptance and understanding. Usually the things that bother us about other people are really the things that we can't stand about ourselves. So give yourself a break. Ease up on the self-punishment and self-blame. Be tender.

#14 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Be true to yourself

The next time you catch yourself thinking of doing something vengeful or spiteful, promiscuous or fake, - ask yourself: Am I being true to me? We often engage in self-sabotaging behaviors or try to be something we're not. Make sure that your words and actions align with your beliefs, values and standards. Without this, we cannot have the self-worth and self-respect we claim to deserve. Be someone that you are proud to show off to the world.

I LOVE THESE QUOTES! (BUT I LOVE ME MORE)

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“People are crying up the rich and variegated plumage of the peacock, and he is himself blushing at the sight of his ugly feet.”
- Sa’Di

“Contentment, and indeed usefulness, comes as the infallible result of great acceptances, great humilities - of not trying to conform to some dramatized version of ourselves.”
- David Grayson

“Oh, I’m so inadequate. And I love myself!”
- Meg Ryan

FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE

#13 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Keep yourself satisfied in bed

Self explanatory.

#12 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Put a picture of you by your bed

1. Buy a frame at the dollar store.

2. Print out a picture that you like of yourself.

3. Write a handwritten note on it.

4. Look at it every morning and think how lucky you are to wake up next to such a babe and be you every day!

DESIDERATA

#11 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Stop being bored

Tough-love statement for the day:

If you're bored it's because you're boring.

Go be more interesting. Do something. Learn about anything. Have interests. Start conversations with strangers. Embarrass yourself. Laugh at yourself. Help someone and expect nothing in return. Volunteer. Listen. Dance. Cry. Paint. Create. Brainstorm. Donate blood. Introduce yourself to a neighbor. Get a new job. Walk in the rain.

If all else fails, try this hilarious website: 474 Things To Do When You're Bored

SELF SMOOCH

#10 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Wear a sexy little number while home alone

Close the curtains, dim the lights, and put on some saucy lingerie or that slinky little black dress in the back of your closet with those too-tall heels you can't walk in. Let your hair down, put on some bright red lipstick. It's fun to do something mundane, like the dishes, when you're dressed up like this. Remember, this is just for you, something for when you are home alone. It's all about flirting with your wild side and revving up that inner sex kitten. 10 bucks says you'll catch yourself checking you out in the mirror.

#9 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Stop looking!

No, really.

"When I was a little girl I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. Finally, I'd just give up and fall asleep in the grass. When I woke up, they were crawling all over me." [from film Under the Tuscan Sun]

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

#8 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Get to know yourself better

You are getting involved in a very longterm (read: life long) relationship here. It's time to get serious and get to know this person better. Try writing down the answers to some of these questions:

• What are my dreams?
• What are my goals?
• Where do I see myself in 5 years? 10 years?
• What kind of partner am I?
• What roles do I play?
• What are my priorities?
• What do I have to offer others?
• How would my friends describe me?
• What do I value in a friend?
• What am I proud of?
• What are my top 3 life-defining moments?
• What have I learned from my past relationships?
• Who will cry when I die?

#7 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Do something you enjoy

Book some time out of your day to do something for your pure enjoyment. If you have money to spare, splurge on something. It certainly doesn't have to cost a thing. It might be something relaxing - a bubble bath, a massage, reading a book. It might be an activity - a run, a yoga class, painting. Whatever nurtures your spirit and makes you feel good. Plan it early in the day so you have something fabulous to look forward to.

#6 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Sing this song over and over until you believe it

* Remember: Maria feels pretty because she's in love with a boy. You feel pretty because you're in love with you!

What I love about this video is how it demonstrates how being in love can affect the way you feel about yourself. And how wonderful to know that we no longer need another person to create this glorious effect!

#5 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Dedicate love songs to yourself

If you're anything like me, hearing love songs on the radio while single can cause temporary suicidal depression. When those songs come on, make a mental dedication from you to you. Then listen to the song (or sing along) as if someone is singing the song directly to you. I think you'll find it will make you smile. And maybe even give you the warm fuzzies.

This next one goes out to me from me:

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Have I told you there's no one else above you?

You fill my heart with gladness

Take away all my sadness

Ease my troubles, that's what you do.

:)

#4 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Shave your legs

Don't save this for date night. Do it because it's a quick and simple way to start feeling like a sexy minx. (Tip: try putting baby oil on afterwards to make 'em super smooth.)

GOT A CRUSH ON THIS SONG

#3 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Make yourself nice meals

We all have to eat, regardless of our relationship status. But when you're cooking for one, it's easy to fall into a rut of making the same meals all the time, substituting Cheerios for lunch and dinner or perhaps getting fast food instead. Make a point of preparing yourself a nice meal. Pull out that recipe that you usually reserve for company or that 3rd date meal you would normally make to impress your partner. Even if you are having a simple meal or a mac n' cheese night, do something to make the meal a little more special. Set the table before you sit down, put on a favorite cd, add a garnish to the dish, light a candle, pour yourself a nice glass of wine to go with that KD. Sit down and enjoy your company, and thank yourself for taking the time to prepare such a lovely meal.

I LOVE THESE QUOTES! (BUT I LOVE ME MORE)

“You can’t be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with."

- Wayne Dyer

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”
- Sonya Friedman

“A gold medal is a wonderful thing – but if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.”

- From Cool Runnings

"There is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out."

- He's Just Not That Into You

#2 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Write yourself love notes

Write love notes and leave them around the house. On the bathroom mirror, in your sock drawer, at your desk, everywhere.

Personal examples:

• I hope you have a good day sweetheart.
• You are an incredible woman.
• Thinking about you.
• You look SMOKIN' hot today.

#1 RULE OF ME-LOVE

Compliment yourself

It is now solely your job to tell yourself all the things you want to hear. Bring a focus to the things you love about yourself, and acknowledge them (out loud if possible) wholeheartedly. Make a point of doing this in the morning. Maybe stand in front of the mirror and say 3 things you like about you. Or you could try making a list and add a new compliment every day. For a challenge, spend 10 minutes a day thinking nothing but good thoughts about yourself. It will probably feel uncomfortable at first, like you're being too vain or immodest. Do it anyway, exaggerate it, and welcome how good it makes you feel when you hear yourself say it. It's a great way to start the day, and trust me, it'll add a little pep to your step. This, of course, is not limited to the mornings. Keep it going throughout the day!

Personal examples:

• I am frickin' hilarious. I make me laugh.
• I have knockout legs.
• It's really nice of me to help out my friends when I can.
• I like the way I do my eye makeup.
• I'm proud of my accomplishments and where I am at my age.
• I'm a catch.